My beautiful son Sebastian struggled into the world on the 12th June 1993 after being born premature. But within weeks he was thriving and grew quickly. 

I called him Sebastian because to me he was strong and a fighter. The Greek word for Sebastian is Sebastos which means Venerable.  

As a child his beautiful personality blossomed. He was always smiling and such a happy young boy. He was loyal to his family and as he grew, he would give his all to the things he was passionate about. He was such a caring young boy. 

As he grew older, the things that sticks most in my memory was his wicked sense of humour, he always had a funny answer to everything.

He was extremely sensitive, deep thinking, had a comics whit and most of all he was compassionate. He had a genuinely beautiful soul.

My beautiful son had two loves when growing up.  He adored animals and his love of Diet Cola is well documented. 

As my beautiful son grew into adulthood, it was not an easy time for him. His genuinely loving nature made it difficult for him, but despite these problems. Sebby always knew the life he wanted and cherished. 

Approximately 3 years ago. He was diagnosed with ADHD which was a turning point for him. He finally understood the problems he had and with him developing into a man, he became far more aware of the effect that his earlier choices had made on his life and was desperate to change. 

Although Sebastian suffered with a fear of being outside and around people. He discussed daily with me the dreams he had and how he was desperate to change. 

Only 2 months ago. We had finally agreed to buy a brand-new house where he would start his new life. It would allow him to make the changes to his life that he desperately wanted to make and he and his brother Jonathan were about to embark on the bachelor’s life he dreamed off.

He had been looking at getting a dog from the Dogs Trust which was typical of Sebastian, that he wanted to care for a dog that had had a troubled life.  

The tragedy being that the home he so desperately wanted had become a reality. But sadly he did not live to move in. 

Tragically Sebastian walked into hospital on that fatal day, with his tooth brush and over-night bag in his hand. He was feeling poorly and after tests was diagnosed with Pancreatitis. Yes he was poorly, but his illness should not have been life threatening. 

What happened next is still a tragedy and something I cannot come to terms with. My beautiful son was put into an induced coma to aid his recovery from the Pancreatitis but I truly believed he would be back home in a week. 

As he was starting to feel the effects of the sedatives, he said to me the he didn’t want to die and asked me if he would. I remember clearly saying that he wouldn’t die and that I would be there for him. 

Over the next 10 days we as a family were there every waking hour, talking to him and hoping he could hear our words of encouragement and comfort. 

Sebastian wanted to live. He had a new life mapped out in front of him and his future look bright. 

For Sebastian to die in such tragic and unexplained circumstances makes the grief I am suffering unbearable. I loved my beautiful son more than life itself and the thought of living a life without him being in it is unimaginable.